06 Sep It Comes and Goes

An excerpt from my journal to keep it real here and not pretend that everything is perfectly perfect. Sometimes when I’m in it, I can’t post anything. It feels fake…so I’m sharing it now.

If you struggle with anxiety, I’m with you.

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Anxiety is a liar. It really is. And when it comes at me, it comes hard. It’s like a switch goes on and it’s full negative voices filling my brain. It’s relentless. I know that’s why escapism is part of my dna.

How do we change this about ourselves? When we know that self care is essential to our well being, but we nonetheless push it to the bottom of our priorities. And why? To put others first. To achieve goals that we’re not sure why we’re pursuing anyways. (See that, right there was the anxiety talking).

I’m not sure when the bubble will pop but it feels like it’s simultaneously starting to ease up and bubble up til it overflows.

I’m creating a lot right now. It’s a priority and I’ve made promises but it’s not always easy to work through negative thoughts. And sometimes it’s the only way. There’s the old duality again. Maybe life is just a constant seesaw of anticipation and relief? But do I ever feel relieved? Do you?

Recipe for Anxiety Relief:
-Exercise
-Sleep
-Eat clean, no dairy, no bread no alcohol
-Be in nature
-Make something…bake, cook a meal, garden, take photographs, write, paint
-Talk to someone about how you’re feeling
-Looking at data I’ve tracked marking my cycle, knowing this is cyclical and shall too pass. .

This last part about tracking my cycle has been sooo helpful…Just remembering that it comes, but then it goes.

It will pass and there will be moments of great joy just ahead.

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I recently just celebrated 4 years alcohol free and was interviewed by Jennifer Magazine.

If you’d like you can read about my story here.